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  • Writer's pictureTommy Cicero

Keeping the peace

"To be agreeable while disagreeing - that's an art."

Disagreeing with people in our personal and professional lives is part of life. We have our own opinions and beliefs. We feel like we know what we are talking about when someone questions our point of view. Even if we see the value of someone else's point of view, we understand what we know to be right in our heart of hearts. When we do not see eye to eye with others, it's our choice to let it go, or have a debate. Problems can arise when the debate escalates to an argument or all out fight.

I used to love arguing with people when I was younger. I always had to make my point and let the other person know where I was coming from. I didn't use any tact either. My delivery would be snarky, passive-aggressive or just plain rude. In hindsight, it was not pretty and I know I often came off as an inconsiderate jerk. I didn't care, as long as I felt like I came out on top, always looking for that mic drop moment. It only made me feel better temporarily. It did not win me many admirers. I'm so glad that's the old me.

Photo by Hussam Abd on Unsplash

Now, when I don't see eye to eye with someone, I usually let it go. If I feel the need to say something, I do my best to come from a place of love and understanding. Sometimes I will know for a fact the other person is wrong. Maybe they got their facts wrong. Maybe they don't even care about the facts. I don't let it bother me anymore. Some people just aren't worth debating or arguing with. It's a waste of my time and energy. I have better things to do. I do not need to be right all the time. I'd rather be at peace with myself.

If we can allow our egos to take a back seat when we disagree with people, it makes it much easier to walk away from the situation without feeling disrespected or owned by the other person. It became easier for me to let it go since I would feel better afterwards, even if I allowed them the last word. Silence is also powerful. I do not miss putting time and energy into pointless arguments. I would rather use it to make others feel good. It makes me feel better too. I prefer to look for the win-win. I owe it to myself for my own peace of mind. How do you deal with people you disagree with? How has your approach evolved over time?

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