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  • Writer's pictureTommy Cicero

Keeping our egos in check

"In the eyes of the ego, self-esteem and humility are contradictory. In truth, they are one and the same.”

Without getting bogged down by Freud's interpretation of the id, ego and superego, the traditional ego refers to our sense of self or individuality. Our ego is important for helping us meet our basic needs, but it can also be a detriment to our wellbeing by creating an inflated sense of self-worth or deflating our self-esteem. A healthy ego recognizes the the benefits of having positive character traits and treating others with respect. An unhealthy ego inflates our sense of self-worth and tends to alienate or bully others with its negative character traits.

My ego has evolved over the years. I had an unhealthy ego in the past that primarily cared about getting my own needs met, without considering how my words and actions were affecting others and myself. I had a mixed combination of an inflated sense of self-worth when I was in good mood, with the tendency to adopt a low self-esteem whenever I was having a bad day. It was weird. I would get too high on myself or too low on myself. I didn't possess the balance of a healthier ego to recognize when I should get over myself or stop being so hard on myself.

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

I am so grateful I developed enough self-awareness to help keep my ego in check. The countless hours I have spent sitting in silence helped me to understand the importance of Love and living The Golden Rule. Once I started treating myself and others with more love and kindness, I did not feel the need place myself above or below anyone. I started seeing everyone as equals, from CEO's to people experiencing homelessness. I believe we all arrive here on Earth from the same place and that we are here to help each other rise up. We can be teammates without the need to feel like subordinates or superiors.

Having experienced the benefits of a healthy ego, I thrive on helping everyone level up in life. I believe we are all on different roads leading to the same place. We may be at different mile-markers, but we share the same needs. Love. Hugs. A sense of belonging. By treating each other and ourselves with the respect and support everyone deserves, we have the ability to help make the world a better place for everyone to live in. Since we cannot control the actions of others, the best we can do is keep ourselves in check. It starts with a healthy ego.

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