Owning our circumstances
"When you abandon making choices you enter the vast world of excuses."
"How did I get myself into this mess?" It's a question we may ask ourselves when things seem to be falling apart or not going our way. It's easy to drum up a bunch of reasons why things do not always work out the way we plan them, regarding our personal and professional pursuits. Whether or not our reasons are valid or may feel more like excuses, what matters is that we do not allow any unfortunate circumstances to dictate our ability to make changes and possibly create an even better future because of what we learned about ourselves and life in the process.
I used to make up excuses for myself as to why I wasn't where I wanted to be in life. Very rarely would I take ownership for my circumstances and the unfortunate situations I would find myself in. It became easier to blame other people or bad timing. Anything to shift responsibility. I would not acknowledge and learn from my bad breaks because I was too busy placing the blame elsewhere. It was not until too many bad breaks happened to me at once where I realized I absolutely factored into the problem. I needed to take ownership of my problems, no matter how much of a role I played in them. I was able to eventually admit that to myself.
Taking ownership of the many problems in the different areas of my life was unpleasant to do at first. It was a pride swallowing experience that felt uncomfortable at times. Once I started identifying the problems and making an effort to fix them, it became easier to do. It did not happen overnight, though. Once I stopped placing blame I was able to start coming up with better solutions for my problems. If I really was owning my life circumstances, then I wanted to do something to make it better. It did get better over time. I learned how owning my problems and doing something about them was the best way to create a better future for myself.
If we do not own our circumstances so we can learn and grow from them, we may end up repeating the same mistakes on some sad sort of merry-go-round, feeling comfortably unsatisfied and unwilling to do anything about it. If we choose to take more ownership over our life circumstances, we can more effectively come up with solutions to address them and make choices that pave the way for living a better quality of life. We can turn problems into possibilities and make life to happen for us, not to us.